time
/tīm/
noun
the indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future regarded as a whole
I was driving my son to work the other day and we were having a conversation about what his next steps in life should be. He’s just reaching that age where he’s really giving some thought to what he wants to do with himself- he’ll be 22 this August- and he’s arrived at the conclusion that to make the kind of money he wants to make, he has to choose between three things: college, a certification, or a trade. He’s never been a huge fan of school, so this is a choice that has been causing him quite a bit of grief. However, my kid likes expensive things, and the First National Bank of His Mama is running kinda dry… so it’s time for him to really think about making a choice.
“I’d go to college,” he said, “but it’s gonna take three years for me to finish.”
“What’s wrong with that?” I asked him.
“Three years is a long time,” he said.
“Well,” I responded, “The time is gonna come and go whether you do something productive with it or not. You might as well have something to show for passing time.”
He nodded. I’m not sure how much he was paying attention (because these kids do not be listening!), but that conversation stuck with me long after he got out of the car, so much that I decided to write about it and share it with you.
Time.
It’s something we are all given to make the most of while we endure this human experience here on earth. When we were kids, it felt like time moved at a snail’s pace. We all looked forward to getting older, making our own decisions, living on our own, and nobody telling us what to do. We dreamed of being grown, painting our faces and nails, having lives and careers and families of our own. We couldn’t wait for the day we became adults.
And then adulthood happened and now it seems like time is flying. I was twenty-five yesterday, mother to a 5-year-old son, young, feisty, and full of promise with my entire life ahead of me. And then two weeks went by and now I’m 41, caring for aging parents, coming up on perimenopause, and wondering where the hell the years went. I’ve collected a few lessons about time and I wanted to share them with you as gentle reminders of the gift that we’ve all been given in being alive and having time.
Your time in your human body is finite.
Nobody lives forever, and the time we have here is limited. I’m not saying this to scare you. I do, however, want to encourage you to remember that you only have so many years, so many opportunities, so much time to create the life you want to live. Make the most of every single day you have, because tomorrow in the flesh isn’t promised to any of us. Make the best of your years, your good health, being in your right mind, having time. Somebody who can’t now wishes they did- I guarantee you.
Time moves fast.
I was a new mom struggling with a new baby at the grocery store when a random woman walked up to me and told me to enjoy my baby, to get all the snuggles and I love I possibly could and to enjoy every phase of his childhood because I would blink and he would be an adult. I kinda rolled my eyes at her. At the time I had a nursing baby who didn’t sleep well while I was a full-time college student with an irresponsible ass baby daddy and every day seemed long and draining- this woman clearly didn’t know shit.
And then I blinked and Michael was turning 21. I’m not even kidding. I know every single one of you who are moms can relate- because you blink and your kids are huge too. Let that be a reminder to you when you have a goal but you’re discouraged about how long it will take you. Do it anyway. You’ll blink and that time will be over. Do something with it. You will never, ever get it back.
Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.
Read that twice, sis.
Busy is fine. The hustle is fine. But resting, sis? Staying still? Spending time doing nothing?? That is necessary time- and time well spent. It’s good to cross things off your list and to maximize your waking hours when you’re working on something but don’t forget the importance of doing nothing except recharging yourself and passing the time not doing- but just being.
The “perfect” time does not exist.
If you’re waiting for just the right moment to start a project, or have a baby, or take a trip, or see an artist that you love live, or write that book, or marry that soulmate, you just might be waiting forever. Sometimes the stars align perfectly and the heavens open and you just know your timing is perfect… but sometimes waiting for the right time is just a fear tactic we use because we’re scared of what might happen if we fail. Well, my love… what happens if you don’t fail? What happens if you’re successful beyond your wildest imagination? You won’t know until you do it- and you won’t do it unless you start. Instead of waiting for the perfect time, decide that the time is now because YOU said so- and do that thing.
I could keep going, but y’all get it. Time is a gift- and so is the free will we have to choose how we will spend it. Remember- five years from now it’ll be five years later regardless of whether you pass it sitting still or living your dream. Five years from now, what will you be able to say you accomplished or changed or conquered? What about five months from now? Every day you have is a treasure, and every minute that passes is a minute you will never see again.
Make the best, the biggest, the most, of all of it. You deserve the best that this life has to offer- regardless of how much time it takes to get there.